So I’m cruising around Watsonville as a route 75 and this dude gets on at Freedom center. He has that sheepish, stereotypical ‘I’m gonna hit on you face so I raise my eyebrow and glare at him through my polarized aviators and mentally dare him to say something stupid.

He says “I don’t like to hit on bus drivers but I have to tell you that your skin is so beautiful.”

And I’m like wtf? Of all the bullshit lines this guy could have pulled out of his ass and he compliments my skin. The same fucking skin that I’ve committed myself to twice daily applications of overpriced moisturizer and a once daily dose of way to expensive MAC foundation! I yell “compliment accepted!” before my brain can tell my mouth to STFU and then I do this awkward fist pump-air punch thing. Because in that moment I felt like all my poor spending habits had just been vindicated in that single sentence.

The dude calmly walks to his seat while I take a moment to reevaluate my life’s priorities. My mind gives me about 5 seconds before it flashes to that scene in Hannibal when that creepy dude is like “it puts the lotion on the skin!”

Compliment ruined.
::sigh:: smh.

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