Death

I noticed a beautiful green grasshopper in my bus today. It was crawling on my window. At the next stop I pulled over. As a girl got off I pointed to the grasshopper and smiled “do you want to take it with you?” She didn’t know what I was talking about because she had headphones in so I just waived her off but an old lady up front heard me and she said she had noticed our little hitchhiker friend.

There were two women waiting to get in so I told them to hang on. I got a headways and gently coaxed my new friend outside. It was really big and pretty. It hopped off the headways right in front of one of the ladies. I said “come on in, but watch your step” and I pointed to my little friend. She looked down and raised her foot to step on it!! I yelled “DONT!!” But it was too late. She stomped down on it. I guess my desperate cry startled her because she didn’t do the job and instead the poor thing was just hurt. I could see it dragging itself across the side walk. 

I felt so bad for it. 

My chest felt tight and I couldn’t even look at the lady. She apologized but it was too late. It didn’t matter. She’d already hurt it. 

The other lady got in and looked at me like I was crazy. I’m not crazy though. I just don’t like things to die unnecessary deaths. It was beautiful. 

But then came the hardest part. Before I pulled away from the curb I got out of my seat again and I killed it. I didn’t want it to suffer. I feel terrible. I was trying to help it live and instead I killed it. 

The lady apologized over and over and once more when she got out. She patted me on the arm and wished me a good day. I forced a smile because I know she felt bad but I’m really sad. 

Just tell me I’m not crazy for feeling so sad.